My Story

I am someone who began struggling with sexual sins since I was about twelve years old. At the time I was not aware of my actions being considered wrong, and by the time I did realize it, I was deep into addiction. However, I continued to purposely engage in this bad behavior; I had wasted a lot of time viewing pornography and taking any chance I could get to check women out. I was hopelessly addicted for years and unfortunately I had no tangible resolve to quit.

I arrived in Duluth, MN as a student in January, 2018. I heard about the opportunity to attend PULLS for quite some time but at first I resisted. Finally, my buddy I knew at our Newman Center encouraged me to come with him, ‘pulling’ me as it were! I instantly felt at home as the connections were fantastic and genuine: the other men were vulnerable, insightful, helpful, and just as broken as I was. It was truly remarkable seeing other people like me struggling and knowing that I was not alone was powerful for me.

Since joining PULLS, the biggest factor for me on my road to recovery has been the accountability with other members. I talk to a couple members multiple times per week as we guide each other along. We lean on each other when one of us becomes weak. Our conversations range from insights we have from meetings, insights we think of outside of meetings, how we plan to get past a current temptation or struggle, and even just casually talking about regular life, sometimes just to get the other person away from thinking about sinful thoughts. This has been an extraordinary experience for me because it keeps me accountable and it makes me constantly think about how to combat my issues. I heard from the Catholic speaker Matt Fradd that accountability is being reminded by others of who you are and who you want to become; this has been an incredible insight for me because I am constantly faced by this in my temptations: I need someone else there when I am weak to remind me of who I want to be and how I can get there.

I have not arrived to where I ultimately want to be (and truthfully, I will never be completely whole this side of eternity), but I have begun reaching heights I have never seen in my fight for purity. I have integrated the lessons of PULLS into my life in different areas; PULLS has challenged me to think about my life in all its aspects and how to grow in this integration, striving for wholeness. The whole idea of PULLS is not just to find abstinence from sexual sin, but to be fully alive in who God wants us to be in all aspects of life. To be just a bit more specific, I consider our ‘five perspectives’- areas of health that we should consider: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social. Looking at all of these elements has been key to me for finding more success. I have also realized the sort of balances I need to find in life, balances like diligent busyness versus wholesome recreation and taking care of myself versus going out to tend to other people in service. These sorts of insights have been realized in participating in PULLS for me; the steps work and the conversations of our meetings have been transformative for me to walk closer to God and finding more success in sobriety. If you are somebody who struggles with sexual sins but wants to experience the fullness of God’s plan for your life and have a supportive group that will help you integrate your sexuality into all areas of life, I would greatly encourage you to consider checking out the PULLS group! The experience I have had has been like no other; this is a group of men that is honest and open, and everyone understands the struggle we have all gone through. We help build each other up in the meetings and beyond into everyday living. Thank you for reading my story and may God bless you in your journey. If you struggle with sexual sin, we would love to see you at our meetings!